MYSELF, BALI and FREEDOM again





Myself, Bali and Freedom again!!



The calendar reads 5th Feb 2016 and I am on a holiday in Bali. Its nearly 9:30 PM, post dinner, I am sitting across a square table, facing the sea in darkness and a soul warming melody is playing in the background. There is a walking track, paved with grass on borders, followed by a sandy slope (granular and non sticky), merging very lovingly into the sea in front of me. On this table are very unattractive table mats, a closed cube shaped candle stand and again very unattractive salt and pepper shaker. A furlong ahead on the beach, nearer to the sea, the hotel authorities have put very attractive covered beds for special candlelight romantic dinners, to create those magical moments. These beds are bordered by very unique fire stands. Amazingly the stands are not really visible and you can get this illusion of fire floating in air. This zone where I am writing is fairly dimly lit and is on very friendly terms with mosquitoes. I am being musically interrupted by their buzz yet there is this calming stillness with a sense of continuity inside. It’s flowing, rhythmic and unifying. It’s quite like the motion of a fish which is continuous yet there is calmness and stillness beating with an inherent rhythm. The restaurant’s name is coincidentally IKAN which means FISH in Balinese.

The waves here are practically nonexistent and the view is stunningly beautiful. I am not able to discern any water here. All I can see is an infinite expanse of darkness on which you can clearly see one wave which appears as a white streak merging into another white streak creating a huge white band on this thick darkness, accompanied with a whoosh sound of gurgling sea. It is intensely mesmerizing, an existential moment. A moment so alive and present!

Coming back to beds (Romantic ones), these are designed for a mushy dinner with small bed tables and they serve you there itself. Needless to say, they charge you a fortune for that. I have been thinking if it’s worth it? Well, money comes and goes and a magical moment stays. It is worth it, isn’t it? This would be anyone’s thought. When you can spend money on an exotic holiday and drink wines, a dinner is certainly worth it. But I don’t know why I haven’t been feeling up to it. I have been dwelling on this and I think we are well past it. It feels very superficial and it’s quite not me anymore. I can create this magical moment in the coziness of my own home with a cup of masala chai, made by Vin( my partner for life) of course, listening to the  lovely music by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. But would I have had the same thoughts if this kind of dinner was complimentary with the stay? I am not sure of that. I might have been thinking quite differently then, maybe. But if a romantic dinner specially created for you is superficial, then living in a resort too is and so is going on expensive holidays.

Many times I ask myself, why do we need a holiday?

1. We take holidays for a break from stressful, sometimes monotonous routine and to give us a big boost before we step once again into our self created boring routine.

2. We want to see the world. Experience different cultures and broaden our vision.

3. Kids have school holiday, what to do with them is a terrifying question!

4. If you are single, then by travelling you want to explore the world and in the process discover yourself

All of them point to our hidden but inherent nature to attain freedom. Freedom from routine, monotony, responsibility of maintaining a household, keeping kids engaged. In other words, the experience of holiday gives one an opportunity to be ONE. Or maybe, that also is a kind of escapism. We are running from our so called fabricated realities. We are trying to create those moments in a stimulating and a spectacular environment and are going to cling to them for the rest of our lives. We wish to come back to the same place again to relive those moments. Also, we try and click a lot of pictures so that we create memories. But we are quite challenged if it comes to creating a memory today and now by just being in the moment? Isn’t the world around us lovely enough to be lived and breathed and felt, through and through? I don’t question this fact that Mother Nature has been biased in her manifestation across the globe and you do get calm and relaxed for whatever days you spend away from the civilized world. But still it is a food for thought.

People are walking post dinner, late in the night now. Girls are mostly wearing sarongs over their bikinis, some people are strolling their kids in buggies, secretly wishing for them to grow up soon.

How important is freedom to everyone! Holidaying is also probably to catch hold of that ever elusive freedom. Is it actually elusive or are we unworthy of it?

Pour your thoughts in and let’s grow this tree together.

Love always!

Charu Pours

P.S.          The smell of Bali is so Indian.

 The dampness of air, the ever smiling faces of ingenuous Balinese people and the relatively easy availability of Desi food repeatedly reminds me of India, I know as HOME.

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